So the question is, how do I overcome 24 years of low self-esteem so that I do not ruin my relationship with my boyfriend, someone I can picture spending the rest of my life with. (Side Note: Ironically I work for company that promotes high self esteem, the CEO being a motivational speaker and creator of some of the best known self-esteem products in the country). The answer unfortunately is I don�t know. I have made a step forward however. After over a year of hating my psychiatrist, a 60 year old woman that takes pleasure in seeing drugs fail on me and who talks about herself more then we talk about me, I have obtained a referral to see a new one who has been described to me as �the best in the biz�. We will ignore the use of the word biz for now so we can focus on getting the depression thing under control. Now I just need to call and make an appointment. Part of me is frustrated to have to start all over with a new doctor but luckily the other half is excited to see someone that might actually be able to help me.

Unrelated note to self: Schedule a mammogram for this month, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.