I am living alone for the first time in a beautiful apartment that is, in my current financial climate, exceedingly out of my league. I rented it on the basis that I would shortly become employed but almost 2 months have passed and nothing promising has shown itself. I am bored and becoming increasingly more lonely, one can only find so many projects around the house until it is all finished and only clean it so often until it is clean.

The movie I was watching involved the meeting and falling in love of a young couple. It was so sweet, the way he would look at her, smitten beyond belief, I began to wonder�will anyone ever look at me that way at me again? Will anyone love me so much that they will want to spend every minute with me? Matt used to be this way when we first met, so much so that it scared me; no one had ever acted this way around me before. And now that he has broken it off and has seemingly so smoothly moved on with his life I am feeling as though that the moments with him in the beginning, those times that he made me feel so special and loved where the only ones I will be getting this time around.