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August 07, 2004

7:09 p.m.: This is Stephanie's Obvious Contempt

I NEED a digital camera so if anyone wants to make my year, be my guest.

I went with Gretchen this afternoon to see her wedding dress that finally decided to grace us with its presence. The thing was ordered months ago. She tried it on and of course it fits perfectly, needing little to no alterations. I thought perhaps my bitter feeling towards marriage had subsided a bit, but being there at Here Comes the Bride, sitting in my elegantly covered chair, my face scrunched up in contempt, they seem to have reinstated themselves.

There were three other girls standing on carpeted platforms trying on various white monstrosities. I say girls with no exaggeration; these brides-to-be looked twelve if not younger. I have decided that it is not that I WANT to get married; I am just pissed because I keep feeling I should be getting married. I have reached an age where for some reason it is expected. It's one thing to be asked �when are you getting married� when you have a signifigant other, but even worse and not a little bit strange when asked when you do not. History has shown that there tends to be a few steps between finding a boyfriend and getting married, none of which are likely to happen for a few years.

At any rate, I have come to terms somewhat with the Matt thing. After visiting the town in which he still resides, resisting the urge to go over and say hi, and then being told by him that that was the right thing to do, I have decided (or am on my way to deciding) that I can�t expect him to change, nor should he have to. He will be a great boyfriend in the future, just not one to me.

Still hate my job; still looking for another, cat still hates me etc�